April 2008 Issue

Filed Under April 2008, columns, readme | 1 Comment

smallbookguynew.pngWell, that’s it. I’m outta here.

Not out of here, of course. Gosh no. I have cats to support. I mean out of the 21st century. You can have it back, thanks, none for me, not my sort of century. In fact, you can have the last twenty years of the 20th back, too.

Last week I spent a long afternoon listening to Radio Dismuke and browsing The Complete New Yorker Magazine on DVD, specifically Disk 7, 1937-47. I dunno, gang. Given a choice between, on the one hand, Robert Benchley and S.J. Perelman, and, on the other, the sort of twee lumps who labor to be funny at places like McSweeney’s, my course is clear. Give my regards to Blitzer and Russert, please, and feel free to drop me a line c/o the Stork Club.

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March 2008 Issue

Filed Under March 2008, columns, readme | Leave a Comment

smallbookguynew.pngIt must be Spring. Our two resident turkey vultures, Babs and Monroe, have returned from wherever they go in the winter and are busily tidying up their nest in the old dead tree about 100 yards from the house. And there is, of course, nothing that says “tax time” quite like having two real live vultures circling your house every day.Folks who visit this site often will probably have noticed that I’ve been experimenting with various forms of advertising on the site, ranging from the classy (Apple Store, Adagio Teas, etc.) to the unbearably cheesy and annoying (animated role-playing games, “smileys,” idiotic ringtones, etc.). The classy ads I pick. The sleazy ones (and, to be fair, a few good ones) are picked by Google and supposedly tied to content on the page itself. Just how my columns manage to provoke ads for online gambling and discount swimsuits is a mystery. I’m actually surprised I don’t get more ads for pet products.

Judging from the ads appearing on other sites, I suspect that I would get more interesting ads if I were to spend some time ruminating about how Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama had a secret love child named Levitra who married a guy named Cialis Prozac who built a self-improvement empire in Second Life and collected discount air fares and Fort Myers timeshares as a hobby. Now I’ve done it. No, wait. Ron Paul. There we go.

In any case, it beats me why you people aren’t snapping up the mail-order organic muffins. And would it kill you to have your DNA tested once or twice? Maybe you’re related to Dick Cheney too. Anyway, I’ll try to keep the ads fairly unobtrusive.

Speaking of famous brand names, don’t forget to take a gander at our newest spin-off, Ask for It by Name, where you’ll find the stories behind Mercedes, Coke, Motorola, Eureka, Formica, Microsoft, Velcro, Barnes & Noble, Adidas, Hermes, Hush Puppies, Frisbee, Pringles, Godiva, Coca-Cola, Budweiser, and Dr Pepper, just to mention the most recent entries.

Onward. As I mentioned in mid-February, there’s something new at the bottom of every page of this site: a customized Google Word Origins search engine which will search a range of English etymology websites for any word or phrase entered in the box. It sure beats searching the entire web for something if you can’t find it here.

Lastly, please remember that this site relies on your support for its continued existence. If you enjoy what we do, please consider subscribing for less than four cents per day. Subscribers see the columns a month or two before they appear free on this site. This week, subscribers got the skinny on, among other topics, curling (the sport), the proof is in the pudding, and in the tank. Don’t miss out on the fun. They’re talking about abolishing pennies anyway, y’know. Why not send a few to our incredibly cute cats?

 

 

February 2008 Issue

Filed Under February 2008, columns, readme | Leave a Comment

readme:

Well, here we go again. This issue marks the return of strange headlines and even stranger illustrations to the columns.

We are still in the process of integrating the old archives into this new site, so if you’re looking for something and can’t find it in the “New Archives” at left, check the “Old Archives” link a bit further down. If all else fails, the Google search box at the foot of each page works on the sledgehammer principle, searching everything on both sites. If you still can’t find the answer, it probably isn’t here, and you should send me a question.

A special thanks to all the folks who have chipped in moolah lately, especially subscribers who renewed their subscriptions. Your premium cats are in the mail. But seriously, we here at TWD World Headquarters depend on the kindness of our readers to support this site, so please consider subscribing to TWD-by-Email. You’ll still be able to come back here, see the illustrations, and post your comments on the columns.

And if you run out of things to read here, swing by Ask for It by Name!, which is just getting started but already explains the origins of many of your favorite brand names. Mmmm, Chef Boyardee.

Update: There’s something new at the bottom of every page of this site: a customized Google Word Origins search engine which will search a range of credible English etymology websites (which I picked) for any word or phrase entered in the box. It sure beats searching the entire web for something if you can’t find it here.

Give it a shot:


And now, on with the show….

 

 

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