And I used to be lots funnier.

Dear Word Detective: My friend drives a Mazda car. She thinks that the word “mazda” has some significant meaning, possibly in ancient Persian. Can you give me any information? –Peter Kerr.

Drat. I was all set to cast light-hearted doubt on your friend’s sanity when a little voice in my head suggested that I check a book called From Altoids to Zima: The Surprising Stories Behind 125 Famous Brand Names (Simon & Schuster, 2004). Inasmuch as I actually wrote this book my very own self, you’d think I’d remember what it contains, but you’d be wrong. The truth about many writers is that once the research is done and the piece is written and published, we wipe the old memory slate clean to make room for shopping lists and dental appointments. Occasionally this “yesterday’s gone” approach proves awkward (as it almost just did), but the bright side is that I can amuse myself for hours reading things I wrote just a few months ago.

In any case, your friend is correct. The Mazda car, produced by the Mazda Motor Company of Japan, takes its name from Ahura Mazda, the central deity of Zoroastrianism, an ancient Persian religion. Zoroastrianism, one of the oldest monotheistic religions, is considered to have been a strong influence on the Abrahamic religions (including Christianity, Judaism and Islam), and was founded by the Persian philosopher Zoroaster, also known as Zarathustra. Evidently Zoroastrianism also strongly influenced Jujiro Matsuda, the founder of Mazda Motor Company. Matsuda, son of a fisherman, founded the company in 1920 under the name Toyo Cork Kogyo Co., Ltd., and, indeed, produced cork flooring until switching to motor vehicles in 1931. Oddly enough, the company’s name formally became Mazda Motor Company only in 1984, but every vehicle they have produced, including their 1931 Mazdago three-wheel pickup truck, has carried some variant of the “Mazda” name.

There is a theory that Jujiro Matsuda picked the name “Mazda” not only from an apparent respect for Zoroastrianism but also because it bore a strong phonetic resemblance to his own last name. If that’s true, Mazda is in good company — many automobile brands are based on personal names. The Oldsmobile, for instance, was named for Ransom E. Olds, a pioneer automobile engineer who established the first car company in Detroit, the Olds Motor Company, in 1890. Rolls-Royce was founded by Charles Stewart Rolls and Frederick Henry Royce in 1906, and Dodge honors John and Horace Dodge, brothers who started out making bicycles and eventually worked up to manufacturing cars. Honda and Toyota both reflect the names of their founders, although in the latter case “Toyota” was thought to have a “better sound” than Sakichi Toyoda’s last name. And while the French explorer Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac (1656-1750) never got around to building a car, his name is immortalized on those tacky hood ornaments today because he founded the city of Detroit.

The better to bite you with, Sarge.

Dear Word Detective: At lunch today we were speaking of the draft (the military sort, not the wind sort) and my lunch buddy claimed that the designation “4-F” came from the Civil War when they used muskets (first hogwash point) and men had to use their front teeth to dislodge the plug in the powder container they carried. Doing this task required four teeth in front, both upper and lower, and if a chap were lacking in those natural dental implements he was called “4-F” (for “four front”). The whole thing sounded like utter folk etymological claptrap. What say you, oh wise and noble Word Maven of the Western World (WMWM)? — Swami Murugananda.

WMWM? Based on some of the irate email I get, I’ve always thought of myself as more of a YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary) kind of guy. Remember, kids, you can’t please all of the people all of the time, so make the Delete key your friend.

In any case, your nonsense detector seems to be working quite well. The story your buddy came up with is, as you suspect, utter claptrap. On your first hogwash point, however, I think your detector is set a bit too high. Muskets (smooth-bore shoulder-fired firearms) were indeed used in the American Civil War, along with rifles (spiral grooves in the barrel), carbines (short rifles), and a wide variety of revolvers and pistols.

The “show us your teeth” explanation of “4-F” founders on several points. Although there was military conscription during the Civil War, I can find no evidence that a detailed system of draft classification, let alone the label “4-F,” existed at that time. Even if such a system had been in effect, it’s very unlikely that a single criterion, inability to open a powder pouch, would have rated a special classification when so many other disabilities (blindness, deafness, etc.) would also have disqualified the draftee. And even if one needed, and lacked, front teeth to fire a musket, there were plenty of openings for mule drivers and clerks.

As to what “4-F” actually means, the answer is pretty much nothing. During and following World War I, there was a classification system that divided conscripts into Class I (qualified for military service) and Classes II through V (unqualified or exempt). A more detailed system during and after the Second World War included 52 separate classifications, from I-A (Welcome to the Army) to IV-A (Go home, Grandpa), including IV-F, “Rejected for military service for physical, mental, or moral reasons.” The same general categories were retained after WW II with some additions, such as the ever-popular “2-S” or “student” deferment. Although the “F” in “4-F” may have been partly inspired by “fail” (or the school grade “F”), it didn’t officially stand for anything.